If your child’s having learning difficulties at school, naturally you want to help. Maybe you’ve been told that they’re affected by autism or dyslexia, for example. With this in mind, is there anything you can do that will make a difference?
Yes, there is. If you help your children to have a better understanding of the condition that’s affecting them, they will tackle their problems better, because children who don’t understand their difficulties tend to say negative things like ‘I’ve always been bad at reading’ or ‘I’m not clever enough to do math.’
Worth noting is that children who understand more about their learning shortcomings take a more positive approach.
‘I have a learning difficulty called dyslexia, so it can take me longer to understand the words I’m reading and to get my schoolwork done. But I’m actually pretty smart, and I know what to do to get through my reading. It’s not easy, but I know that I can cope with every subject at school.’
So, teaching your children about their learning difficulties sets them up for success, especially if you help them to understand what they can do about it. Because when children understand how specialised learning strategies work, they became more committed to using them.
But talking with your kids about their learning difficulties won’t be easy for either of you, so try to have the conversation after a professional has provided you with a framework for your discussion.
‘I’ve noticed you struggle with reading. Can we talk about ways to make it easier for you?’ Frame everything in a positive light: ‘Everyone learns differently. Some people learn best by seeing, while others like hearing things explained. You might learn best in a way that’s different from other kids.’
Use age-appropriate language, and focus on improving the learning process, rather than the results ‘It’s like football, the more you practice the better you get.’ As your children mature, you can gradually introduce diagnostic labels like autism and explain them in a positive light.
Focus on your child’s strengths. ‘You're very creative, but writing may not be the only way to show what you know. Maybe audiobooks can help with your reading, or we can get your computer to help you write down your thoughts’.
Your child may have started using negative language about themselves, saying things like ‘I’m dumb.’ Address remarks like that by pointing out any special skills your child may have.
Be very patient, and encourage them to ask questions. Let them know it’s okay to feel frustrated. Work with their teachers and counsellors to develop learning strategies that will help your child develop their competence and confidence.
Find books and websites explaining learning styles and difficulties. Expose your children to other children dealing successfully with similar challenges so they can learn from shared experiences.
Above all, be understanding and focus on your child’s progress rather than on perfection. This way, you will be setting them up for success.
