I'm wealthy; how do I get a woman to love me, not just my money?

Hello Zulu,

Question: I am a 30-year-old man, doing well in my career and experiencing good financial flow. I am concerned that I have dated two girls so far, and they both seem more interested in money than in genuinely loving me. Is there a way to handle this?

Answer: I hear you, man. I watched a story about a guy who went to try his luck on a dating show. When he walked in and the women assessed his looks, balloons of rejection popped all around the room.

Then he introduced himself as a plumber, and another blast of balloons erupted. In this context, blowing up a balloon was a way of saying no.

When he further stated that he was a single father, the remaining women also bowed out with the popping of balloons.

Only one woman remained with her balloon.

Some accused him of having character issues; no wonder the baby mama left.

There was judgment all over the room, but the guy kept calm.

The woman who remained in the arena explained that she liked his rather humble demeanour and the fact that he was proudly taking care of his daughter.

As for his job, she said that she'd like to hear the whole story. Maybe he was starting afresh, and he was growing. She didn't want to assume that his situation was his lifestyle before hearing the context.

She also joked that having a plumber in the house would mean she never needed to worry about leaking taps and blocked toilets.

As it turned out, this man explained that he had been married and his wife had passed on. He had parented their only child for several years alone while also growing his plumbing career.

He started a company that expanded to over two hundred locations worldwide, and although he was technically a plumber, he was really a business mogul.

Read: Here’s why men betray the women they built wealth with

Faced with tough challenges in the dating scene because women sought what they could gain from him rather than who he was, he decided to create a less impressive persona to test their motives.

Often, when you search for a wife when you're already successful, the odds are stacked against you.

Dating 

Apply these strategies, and you'll win the game of dating for character when people are chasing you for your cash.

One: craft a rather ordinary persona to make first impressions with. Dim your light. Cut out the pomp and walk like an ordinary man. Do not come for the date in a Range. Either park far away out of sight or Uber to the venue.

You must avoid activating people's lust and greed, or else everyone will become charming in your face, and you will marry the best pretender, not the best candidate.

I hope you know that the wrong people are more aggressive than the right ones because they lack the substance to convince, but they also want a good life that they're too lazy to work for.

When I approached the girl I would later marry, I had delusional confidence. That's the only antidote for a man who has nothing working for him but wants to marry a good woman. You must brainwash yourself into a confidence that doesn't make sense to outsiders.

I was shifting from a lucrative career, law, to a little-known career, counselling. She had a hard time explaining to her parents what I did for a living and how I would provide for our family.

Read: I pranked my boyfriend and he dumped me

I didn't have a house, land, or car. I just showed up for our date in oversized clothes and a poorly fed physique.

But my confidence was over the roof. I had a big dream, and I was looking for a woman with whom to travel there. That was my pitch.

She later said she was won over because my vision was convincing, although my background was disturbing.

That's not how a man who has money approaches dating. You can't spell out your vision too clearly because nearly any woman will jump in.

Unlike me, you're already living in your dreams. Your looks already spell 'the good life.' You're not like me and boys from humble backgrounds who must oversell their ideas to get any attention.

You can already dress elegantly and take her to five-star hotels. Just don't do it, especially in the beginning.

You must appear in such a way that only a real soul-to-soul dialogue will draw in a woman.

With such a woman, you can go on subsequent dates and reveal yourself more as you get to know and trust her more.

When all is said and done, you'll realise that she was also downplaying her greatest strengths to only reveal them to those who pass the first tests.

Cheap bribes 

Two: know that you can't afford to be desperate. If you're easy to compromise sexually, you'll be mauled by the first wolf you encounter. Discipline is non-negotiable

In short, to marry right when everyone is trying to fake and win, you take a level-headed and strategic approach. You must be both indirect and trustworthy. You reveal yourself in layers, and you don't accept cheap bribes like physical intimacy.

You're playing the long game and have too much to lose.