Contrary to a common misconception, introversion is not a disorder, argues Winfrey Achieng, a psychologist based at Chiromo Hospital Group. “Introversion is one of the major personality dimensions alongside extroversion. It is not a mental health condition, as may be misconstrued. Introverts have a strong preference for internal experience and reflection over external stimulation. This is normally misunderstood as a case of them being antisocial.”
According to Winfrey, introversion is not a single trait. “Research has identified a spectrum with different ‘shades’ or types of introversion. These include, but may not be limited to, social, thinking, anxious, and restrained introverts. Each of these manifests different characteristics and, while all of them may share an overarching trait, they are all different,” she says.
Winfrey uses the coin analogy to shed more light on this personality trait. “Introverts start the day with a ‘bank’ of social energy — like coins. They spend these coins with every social interaction as their day unfolds. Conversely, extroverts start their days with a ‘bank’ of zero and earn their coins from social interaction. This explains why introverts will withdraw from social situations and interactions as soon as their ‘bank’ runs out of reserves.”
The psychologist adds that severity varies from person to person. “Think of introversion as a big umbrella covering many aspects — or in this case, people. All these people have a given strength of social battery, and the speed with which these social batteries drain varies. While one introvert may embrace social spaces for an hour or two, others may feel drained and want to check out sooner, or may choose not to get involved at all. There are instances where these traits overlap, and the introvert may exhibit multiple traits.”
This personality trait is not just misunderstood; it is also a source of problems for those who exhibit it. “Most facets of society are built on the assumption that human beings are naturally expressive, eager to gather and attend social events, or interested in taking part in various discourses. However, these are things that introverts would readily pass on, which might cause problems, especially in professional and relationship circles. This leads to struggles in dating and marriage when introverts are paired with people who have different personality traits. In professional circles, they might be considered non-team players.”
Introverts, therefore, end up being alienated and discriminated against because of who they are, and at times they are forced to suppress their personality to fit certain social structures. Is there a way to strike a balance that fosters inclusion? Winfrey believes there is. “First, the introvert needs to be self-aware and rise to high levels of self-compassion. As an introvert, extricate yourself from the guilt of not speaking much, or not being in social spaces as often as most people, or turning down invitations. You are not socially awkward or antisocial. Like extroverts, your existence is expressed by your personality. Your silence is not a weakness, as many would think. You may possess strengths in other areas that do not involve draining your social battery. Identifying your community is also important — the people who understand you and are willing to be with you even when you are not like them. This way, you don’t feel left out or discriminated against.”
In the work environment, colleagues and bosses can promote the inclusion of introverts by identifying their strengths and involving them in spaces and tasks that best optimise their usefulness. “Introverts make up for creativity and great ideas in what they lack in social batteries. The work environment can tap into this. This way, you kill many birds with one stone: you involve them and optimise their skills and gifts so that they don’t feel left out, and you put the organisation on a trajectory to better meet its goals.”
In marriage and relationships, partners can take time to understand introverts. “This can be achieved through communication from either partner, in cases where only one is introverted. Communicating one’s needs and personality helps a partner better understand how to relate to you. They will understand, in the case of introverts, for example, that their partner is reclusive most of the time and will not attempt to stifle them with activities that drain them,” she offers.
