Every time Apostle Elkana, the spiritual superintendent of The Holiest of All Ghosts Tabernacle Assembly (THOAG), Mwisho wa Lami Conclave, preaches, he reminds everyone that although God gave all of us brains, He also gave us free will to think. Unfortunately, only a few of us think, and even fewer think critically.
“That is why it is easier for an elephant to enter the eye of a needle than for us to enter heaven,” he preached last Sunday. “Because despite God loving us and wanting us to go to heaven, many of us are unbelieving. We do not believe in God, we continue to sin, and we will surely go to hell.”
His message last week was about the talents God gives us. He had invited me to church after I had not been there for a long time. The conversation with him had started a few weeks earlier.
As you know, we had not been on speaking terms for a long time after I removed him and his church as the sponsors of Mwisho wa Lami Comprehensive School and replaced him with Reverend Awinja of the ACK.
He never liked me for that. For him and his church, it was a big loss.
As you know, whenever Apostle Elkana came to the school to pray, he would not leave without being given something small. And he had created many opportunities for prayers: Sports Day, Harvest Time, examination time, Parents' Day and any national issue, even if it did not affect Mwisho wa Lami School.
Secondly, as the sponsors, they used the school grounds for crusades and other church activities. All this stopped when I replaced him as school sponsor. He reported me to higher authorities, but the matter could not be reviewed because he could not even produce any papers to show that THOAG was actually a recognised church.
In the meantime, we were making huge savings with Reverend Awinja. Whenever she visited the school, she never asked for anything—not even food. She actually declined being given money when she prayed for KCPE candidates some time ago.
In fact, I remember discussing with someone that we had considered Apostle Elkana and his church our sponsors, when, in reality, we were their sponsors.
Our rapprochement with the good Apostle started with QVSE. I don't know who told him about it, but he saw me a few months ago and I gave him the registration details. I was shocked that he actually deposited Sh129,000 at once, and not the Sh65,000 teachers had struggled to raise.
He made me regret my choices and immediately decided that I would start my own church when I retire. It is a lucrative affair. Upon seeing his money starting to grow, Apostle Elkana deposited more and invited other pastors and church members. Let me tell you, church leaders have money. Do not joke.
Within a short time, the church people were very impactful to my network, helping me grow. Most of their deposits came on Sunday, a day after church services. I did not need to calculate to know that Sunday was a big market day, with ‘sadaka’ being an important revenue stream.
Some churches put in the development money to invest, saying that it would grow and enable them to build even better structures. So when people started spreading rumours that QVSE could be fake, Apostle Elkana came to see me. I explained to him everything that was happening; he was convinced, and he decided to face the matter head-on, through the Word.
“Today, I talk about talents, and how God rewards those who use the talents they have been given well, and punishes those who do not.”
He spent quite some time on this, reading the entire scriptures in Matthew 25 and Luke 19. He rambled on and on about the two passages, then got practical, relevant and topical.
“Our son, Dre, came up with a good idea to invest our talents and make money. Like the first man who invested his five talents and doubled them, Dre has helped many of us double our money. And when we double the church’s money, who will benefit?” he asked.
“It is you!” he answered, even before anyone could respond.
“And I have a responsibility to introduce as many of you as possible to this once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity. A few of you have joined, while others are behaving like the last man, who was given a talent and went to bury it underground. Keeping your money in the bank or under the mattress is the same as burying it. It will never grow.”
He went on to castigate several church members who had refused to invest in the QVSE opportunity, saying that they would regret it.
“God is not happy with you,” he said, “And let me assure you, just as Jehovah did in the Bible, He will distribute your so-called wealth to others who have invested.”
He went on: “And even if you do not want to invest in the big opportunity, why are you discouraging others? Why?”
He then asked me to explain what was happening and why it was important for people to keep investing.
I explained to the church members, including one church leader whom the Apostle had invited, that those who were already in should not be worried, and those yet to join should join immediately.
“You have heard it yourselves. This is just a small storm that will go away,” the Apostle told everyone, encouraging more people to join.
“I know all businesses have risks, but this one has no risk at all. This is a sure bet,” he said.
That day, I was surprised to learn that he also bets. Later on, he would admit that he usually has quite some money and never lets it sit idle.
That is how we managed to convince three new members to join. We also convinced two others to pay the verification fees of $200 so that they could keep their accounts active and access the growing money when they allowed people to make withdrawals.
Before we ended, Apostle Elkana asked all QVSE investors to come to the altar and made a special prayer for us.
“God, please kill the cybersecurity attackers, strangle the ransomware that had come to finish us, and attack the DDoS people with more energy than they have. God, protect all of us who have invested. To those who have not invested and are laughing at us, God take away their money and give us!”
He then poured anointing oil on our heads and made a special prayer over us. Usually, the anointing oil goes for Sh200, but that day he charged us Sh500, saying that we were rich people.
Later that day, he came to see me, asking that I pay more. He had calculated all the people who had joined, reminding me that they were in my community, meaning that I would earn more.
I had to part with another Sh2,000. It is a lot of money, but it is nothing compared to the millions that I will soon withdraw. It is just a matter of weeks, and I will access my millions.
That evening, I made some edits to my resignation letter, because “Freedom is coming Tomorrow!”
