Why Gen Z’s poor sleep is hurting sex lives

“It is not my mistake,” Gladys interjected. “I have no feelings, and I do not know why and if anything, I am left hanging during sex. I really never get to climax!”

I did a full medical history and examination. I found Jeff to be obese. Gladys, on the other hand, was sleep-deprived.

She had an online clothes shop and spent most of her evenings and nights communicating with her customers on various social media channels.

“By the time I am ready to sleep, Jeff is deep asleep and snoring loudly, so I normally move to a different bedroom to have uninterrupted sleep,” Gladys said.

Jeff also reported that he had sleep interruptions severally, and often woke up tired, sometimes with a headache.

Jeff and Gladys are experiencing what most GenZs are going through – disturbed, poor and sometimes absent sleep at night. Recent studies show that, unlike before when old people were believed to lack sleep and young people slept enough, insomnia rates are increasing among Gen Zs, with up to a quarter of them struggling to fall asleep or have continuous, uninterrupted sleep every night.

“I do not get it. How is sleep related to sexual intercourse?” Jeff asked, frowning.

Well, after a good sleep you wake up with an erection and after a good sexual experience, you fall into deep sleep. That should tell you that the two are closely related. The body rejuvenates and replaces its hormones, clears toxins and repairs itself during sleep. A healthy body with a relaxed mind is naturally sexual, causing one to have a high desire for sex and to engage in satisfying sexual acts. Without good sleep the body is worn out and the mind is foggy. Sex becomes difficult.

First of the problems is sleep anxiety, a situation where there is excessive worry about the ability to get uninterrupted sleep. It is common in Gen Zs due to heightened stress from social media, career instability, and uninterrupted internet connectivity. A recent study published in Sleep Medicine Reviews found that nearly 40 per cent of Gen Zs report sleep-related anxiety at least three times a week, a significant increase from previous years.

The second problem among Gen Zs is sleep apnea. In this sleep disorder, there are repeated interruptions in breathing during sleep. While in older adults the interruptions in breathing can be from many causes, in Gen Zs there are two main causes – obesity and alcohol.

In obesity, there is increased fatty tissue around the neck. When one falls asleep and neck muscles relax, the fatty tissues collapse and block the airway. The person starts to snore but as the blockage worsens, they are deprived of air and this makes them wake up. The condition not only disrupts sleep quality but also poses significant health risks if left untreated.

Data from Global Obesity Observatory show rising trends in obesity among boys and girls in Kenya, with the girls more affected. It is expected that sleep apnea will keep rising among young adults.

Then there is alcohol consumption. While alcohol, in its own right, causes sex problems, it also leads to relaxation of throat muscles and increases the risk of airway collapse during sleep. This especially happens when alcohol is taken before bed, which is a common practice.

The third problem affecting sex is sleep divorce, where couples opt for separate sleeping arrangements to improve rest. A 2024 American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey found that more than one-third of Americans occasionally or consistently sleep in a separate room from their partner due to issues like snoring, differing sleep schedules, and restlessness. It is not known what percentage of Kenyans practice sleep divorce. Anecdotal evidence shows that numbers could be increasing as in the case of Jeff and Gladys.

While sleep divorce may be the logical thing to do when your partner is snoring and having disturbed sleep due to sleep apnea, it can lead to reduced intimacy. Some cultures may also not tolerate sleep divorce, which brings another set of mental stress, feelings of rejection and relationship problems.

All said and done, there is need to improve sleep hygiene as a way of safeguarding their sexual health. Many divorces could be in the offing because the need for good sleep has been ignored.

I have Sh600,000 inherited land; should I sell it, buy bodaboda and find a girl to marry?

I am 20. I live in Kisii County and work as a boda boda rider. I make between Sh9,000 and Sh12,000 per month. The motorcycle I use is not mine. I am not well schooled as I dropped out in Form One. My maternal grandfather recently died and during a family meeting, I was informed that she had left me a piece of her land worth Sh600,000. The thought of cashing in is driving me crazy and I have not been sleeping properly. If I sell, it will be the first time I touch that amount of money. It is enough to buy my own boda boda or even a second-hand Probox, find a girl and marry. But I am also afraid of misusing it. I currently live in my mum's compound where I have a small cubicle and most days eat at my mum's. Please help me before I go crazy. Gabriel

Muthoni Njakwe is an accountant and the author of personal finance book Her Shilling, Her Power: A Woman’s Guide to Financial Freedom.

Before making any decision, weigh carefully the return you will get against the risks you are taking. Secondly, you should never hold a lump sum of money if you don’t have a clear investment plan. A plan is what prevents people from wasting rare opportunities.
If you hold on to the land, remember that land in Kisii appreciates at around seven to 10 per cent per year. In five years, that plot could be valued between Sh840,000 and Sh970,000. That is strong growth without you lifting a finger. The challenge is that if you keep land without developing or leasing it, you will have wealth only on paper. You will remain what some call a “broke millionaire” – rich in property but struggling in your pocket. That can be frustrating when your daily life feels unchanged.
If you sell the entire land, you can quickly transform your daily income. A brand new boda boda costs between Sh95,000 and Sh160,000. Owning one could raise your monthly earnings from the current Sh9,000–12,000 to about Sh20,000 after expenses. That difference of Sh8,000–10,000 per month equals about Sh100,000 extra every year. Over five years, you could generate close to Sh500,000 just from riding your own bike. The return on investment is clear and immediate. But you should also know that a boda boda depreciates. After five years, it may only be worth Sh30,000–40,000. Worse still, the temptation to misuse the remaining cash is high. This is the same high risk of becoming complacent due to the attitude of being a bike owner. You may assume you are answerable to no one, as opposed to the current state where you have to work extra hard to meet the common daily dues of about Sh300 owed to the boda boda’s owner and still eke out a profit for yourself. Marrying is okay, but selling land to marry is living beyond your means. Many young men have gone down that road and ended up with regrets. At age 20, you are psychologically unprepared for the huge emotional and financial responsibilities that come with marriage.
The wiser and more sustainable path is to take the middle ground. If the land can be subdivided, sell only a portion worth about Sh200,000. With that, you can buy your own boda, set some money aside for savings, and still retain land worth Sh400,000. Over the next five years, that land could grow in value to Sh700,000, while your boda brings in about Sh500,000 in riding income if you work hard and save smart. Together, that will give you about Sh1.1 million combined value in five years. This balances short-term income with long-term wealth. It gives you dignity and freedom in your work today while keeping your land secure for tomorrow.
You have the advantage of youth. You can live minimally while accelerating your savings. Join a reputable Sacco where you can start creating a portfolio of savings. As a boda rider, your passengers will regularly pay you via mobile money. Make good use of money market funds, where you can make deposits and withdrawals on your phone free of charge while earning compounded interest. Your money shouldn’t stay idle. You can set a medium-term goal of three to five years to create a stable savings pool that you can use as an emergency kitty and investment capital for a business asset such as a transport vehicle. In five years, you will have learned the ropes of the transportation sector and matured in your worldview.
The focus should always be on the approach that protects you from the temptation of wasting the entire amount while still giving you a fallback if life becomes difficult. This way, you will build a steady income that supports your independence and start a family from a place of stability when the right time comes. A partner will respect the fact that you have both an income and a future to stand on. Yes, land is a secure investment that appreciates steadily, but you shouldn’t be so fixated on it that you ignore other opportunities with higher returns. The key is to avoid extremes. Don’t hold all the land while you struggle, and don’t sell everything just because you are excited. Instead, combine both strategies. That way, your inheritance becomes a foundation for lifelong dignity and prosperity.
 

I lost my job and have no savings; do I sell my house and car to sustain the lifestyle my family is used to?

I am in my late 40s, married with four children. I lost my job two months ago and I am now having financial difficulties. I live in my own house valued at Sh15 million. I have a vehicle that I acquired through financing. I pay Sh60,000 every month. I was due to complete payments in four years. I have been allocating Sh50,000 for household expenses every month. My children’s allowance is Sh20,000 (Sh5,000 each) while my wife's allowance is Sh20,000.
Apart from my house, I own three acres of land in Narok County valued at Sh6 million that I inherited from my late grandmother. I don't have savings. I used my savings to complete our current house and upgrade my previous car and topped up the balance with the loan I am now servicing just before I got fired. My problem is, I cannot seem to get another job as quickly as I would like and without money, I am not able to give my family the same lifestyle I got them used to. My wife is a receptionist with a local company but her earnings cannot sustain us. I am also traditional and don't want to ask for her money. I am considering selling my inheritance even though it is unnerving. Do I sell this vehicle? Do I sell my inheritance? If I were to do this, how should I use the money to get back on my feet? How should I invest and budget for this money?
 

Dominic Karanja is a financial planning and investments consultant

Your current financial situation is unsustainable without a steady income. Monthly outflows for vehicle payments, household allowances and expenses alone are Sh150,000, excluding other essential expenses like fuel, vehicle maintenance, utilities, and school fees. You must address this deficit immediately.
The vehicle payment represents your largest ongoing expense and has a substantial impact on your financial stability, particularly when compared to the inherited land. By selling the vehicle, you can immediately eliminate a significant monthly obligation of Sh60,000 and also secure a lump sum to settle the outstanding loan balance. This step directly mitigates your principal financial burden and offers prompt financial relief. Conversely, the land is a valuable asset that holds considerable sentimental significance. Therefore, it should be regarded as a last resort for liquidation rather than an initial solution. It is advisable to use the proceeds from selling your vehicle judiciously. After settling the outstanding loan balance, consider the remaining funds as an essential resource for financial stability, ideally sufficient to sustain expenses for several months while seeking employment opportunities or developing alternative income streams. If a vehicle remains necessary, allocating a modest amount from the sale proceeds to purchase an economical, pre-owned automobile can help preserve mobility for interviews and family responsibilities while minimising ongoing expenses.
Following the sale of the car, collaborate with your family on a revised budget. Your home represents your greatest investment so far. I would not recommend selling it at the moment. At least one of you is earning, and without the expense of rent, your family can survive by readjusting your budget. Engage in an open and respectful discussion with your spouse as an equal partner to review your current financial situation. Her income, along with substantial reductions in household expenses, will be instrumental in achieving financial stability. This process should be viewed not as a matter of pride, but as a necessary step toward resilience and teamwork. Additionally, consider temporarily reducing or suspending allowances for your children and spouse, clearly communicating that this measure is intended to support the family's recovery and is only temporary.
Refrain from selling your inherited three-acre land in Narok County at this time, as it represents not only a significant asset valued at approximately Sh6 million but also an important family legacy. Given that property in Narok appreciates due to ongoing developments in agriculture, tourism, and infrastructure, retaining the land may allow you to benefit from long-term value growth. Consider liquidating this asset only as a last resort, if after six months or more you remain unemployed and require substantial financial support. In such circumstances, proceeds should be strategically invested.
Meanwhile, explore opportunities to generate passive income without selling the property, such as leasing parts of the land for grazing, small-scale farming, or eco-tourism initiatives. These options can provide annual returns ranging from Sh20,000 to Sh50,000 depending on market demand. Consult with local farmers or real estate professionals in Narok to assess feasible possibilities and facilitate prompt implementation.
If selling your inherited land is the most practical course of action, allocate the proceeds in a manner that supports your family's financial stability. Consider using a portion of the funds to settle any outstanding debts. Subsequently, establish a financial safety net by reserving a substantial amount, typically between Sh2 million and Sh3 million in a high-yield savings account or money market fund, which should provide for your family’s living expenses over a period of one to two years as you pursue new employment opportunities. The remainder of the capital should be invested with care to facilitate passive income generation and long-term financial growth. Potential avenues include diversification into Treasury Bills or Bonds, investment in a small-scale rental property, or initiating a business aligned with your skill set.
I strongly recommend that you seek guidance from a qualified financial advisor to ensure your strategy reflects your unique circumstances and long-term objectives. For instance, being jobless can result in desperate attempts at making money, some of which might not be very well thought out. Once you offload your vehicle, do not be quick to get into ventures that you have no expertise in, with whatever balance you have after clearing off your loan. With available assets and a supportive family structure, it is possible to resolve this issue and still save your house and land. Expand and tap into your social capital to get back into employment as soon as you can. Do not be overly choosy by maintaining that you can only take a job that will pay as high as your previous job. Instead, get one foot back in the game and the cards will soon fall into place.
Take your current predicament as a lesson and prioritise an emergency fund once you start earning again. Whereas it is good to have immovable assets, it is equally good to have liquid emergency funds tucked in interest-earning instruments that you can access with ease when the worst hits the fan. You will also need to revise your household budgeting process to ensure that you capture all your expenses, including school fees. This will give you a clear picture of where your money goes and what expenses need to be trimmed down or abandoned altogether.

If you have any money problems, send us an email at [email protected] and leave your number for contact. Money questions will be answered on this column