The hustler government wishes to inform all Kenyans that we have received numerous complaints from concerned parents about the omission of the school feeding programme in the budget proposals, which we have sent to Parliament for debate that will be powered by the Wheelbarrow Economic Transformation Agenda.
We would, ordinarily, had wished to continue with our silence on this matter to allow our Kenya Kwanza MPs to use their independent brains, however, the growing discontent has forced us to come out. We want to allay the fears of the Kenyan public who have been threatening us with bad things if we do not reinstate the allocation in time for the June budget reading, or the second return of Jesus, whichever comes first.
While we are aware that the school feeding programme plays a critical role in the more than 26 arid and semi-arid counties where learners are retained in school because of the availability of a hot meal, we are constrained to continue with it. This is because there are other pressing needs that require urgent allocation of national resources, such as an ultramodern pavilion at State House Nairobi, and the purchase of anointed kitchen appliances for the Office of the Spouse to the Deputy President.
Hustlers who are questioning the spiritual wisdom and asking us to justify why the Office of the Spouse to the Deputy President needs any funding should be reminded that had it not been for her sustained prayer and fasting over the previous month, the flood menace would have continued for another two weeks.
The increased budgetary allocation to the office of Pastor Dorcas is the least we can do to thank her for putting her life on the line to make us enjoy the fruits of her dedicated intercession. When she was spending sleepless nights bruising her knees crying to God to save our furniture from floating on Nairobi River, the rest of us were sleeping soundly knowing we are protected by her prayers and the bravery of her husband.
For standing in the gap at our darkest hour when all hope was being lost and our God-chosen President was touring the world, the Kenya Kwanza government has decided to discontinue the school feeding programme and divert part of the money to Pastor Dorcas’s office.
This is to thank her for her services to humanity during the past year when Kenya was going through difficult challenges that only her prayers could resolve. Let us give our heroes their flowers when they are still alive.
Moreover, since science has proven that the only reason children from these marginalised areas keep going to school is to get free food, we have resolved that it would not be financially prudent to keep splashing hundreds of millions of taxpayer’s money when we have State House intercessors who can be facilitated, at a fraction of the fee, to pray for manna that these children can eat for life.
The scrapping of the feeding programme in hard-to-reach schools is a small price to pay for returning Kenya back to the body of Christ. Any hustler who still sees this as a bad idea is advised to come forward with another God who delivers instant results as we patiently wait for ours who has encouraged us through the scriptures to be patient.
We wish to categorically state that there is no government in the history of independent Kenya that loves children more than the Kenya Kwanza government, and this fact has been demonstrated by our sustained crusade to obey the word of God and fulfil the Holy Scripture without fear or favour, malice or affection, ill-will or bias. Indeed, the Bible says in Matthew 19:14: “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these’.
”We would like to take this opportunity to clarify a few misconceptions about the speeches the hustler President and his deputy may have made on various forums in the past year relating to their solid support for the school feeding programme that may have assured of its continued existence.
When we made these statements of support for the programme, we made them in good faith, understanding fully well our responsibility to all vulnerable children whom we owe a duty of care out of the economic situation of their parents back home. However, we have since been advised by our State House intercessors, whom we pay top dollar to advise us on spiritual matters, to relook keenly at what the scriptures say about who should take care of our children between us and Jesus.
And after carefully reading and internalising the word of God, we have come to the conclusion that it would be sacrilegious to attempt to compete with Jesus to whom the children should go to so that they can be shown the kingdom of God. We know the spiritual range that we should play within, and disobeying the word of God is not within this range.
In the foregoing, all parents who have children going to school in arid and semi-arid lands, which have previously been benefiting from the feeding programme, are advised to heed the word of God in the scriptures and help Ministry of Education officials in those areas to let the children go to Jesus. In this way, they shall be shown the kingdom of God and all that abounds in it, including, a never-ending flow of nutritious milk and delightful honey that, beyond honesty, is more than what we could ever afford to allocate in the budget however much we tried.
The Bible says that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, and when we let the children go to him, they will not only keep hunger and starvation away, but they will also be in the kingdom of God where all children truly belong.
