Cabinet nominees from left: Kithure Kindiki (Interior), Alice Wahome (Lands) Aden Duale (Defence), Davis Chirchir (Roads), Rebecca Miano (Attorney-General) Soipan Tuiya (Environment and Forestry).
There was disappointment all round when President William Ruto selected for his new-old Cabinet many of the same characters he had sacked for incompetence, mismanagement and ethical issues. But we can now see the stroke of genius in a move that brings back fellows who are proven performers in wealth creation.
Cabinet secretaries who have demonstrated their genius in multiplying personal wealth over just 18 months will now be asked to apply their special skills to national economic development rather than to just individual growth.
In the likes of Aden Duale, Alice Wahome, Kipchumba Murkomen, Soipan Tuya, Davis Chirchir and others who have been given a new lease of life, President Ruto has gifted us the men and women who will be the saviours of our nation.
These brilliant Cabinet secretaries will not only pull us back from the brink of economic collapse, but within just one year, they will propel us to the league of developed nations.
Within that period, we should be able to substantially clear our national debt with ease, thereby freeing resources to deliver on ambitious development programmes.
We will attain the elusive double-digit growth, and embark on massive infrastructural projects that will have us competing with Dubai, Malaysia, Qatar, Singapore and other emerging economies for the tallest skyscrapers, largest and most modern airports, and extensive road and railway networks reaching every village.
Cape of Good Hope
We will extend the SGR not just to Kisumu and Malaba, but across boundaries into Uganda, and onwards across the Demoratic Republic of Congo to Africa’s Atlantic coast. We will have the superhighway similarly cutting across Africa, from the Indian Ocean to the Atlantic, and also work on highways and rail links on other inter-continental routes, northwards to Cairo and southwards to the Cape of Good Hope.
All that will be done entirely from domestic resources, without a cent in borrowing from the International Monetary Fund, China, United States, Britain, Japan or any other usurious foreign lenders. If anything, it is us who will be lending to the US, Europe, Asia and Arab world, and extending generous foreign aid to the rest of Africa.
Our rise to economic superpower will, of course, reflect the bottom-up sloganeering. We will ensure clean, drinkable piped water in every home. Reliable electricity and free WiFi too. World class public health, education and other social services will extend across the country. Slums will be torn down and replaced by modern skyscrapers. We will have 100 per cent employment, and completely eliminate poverty.
Every county will have at least one ultra-modern city dotted with elegant office and residential blocks kissing the skies, swanky hotels and the large 100,000 seat stadia required to support our bids for the Football World Cup, Olympic Games and other global sporting events.
Now, some might say that the construction binge on skyscrapers, airports, highways, hotels, residential complexes and so on is unnecessary and not tied to actual need.
What the naysayers still don’t get is that Rutonomics doesn’t build things because there is need for them, but to create employment. We will no longer have jobless youth idling away at bus stops and village shopping centres, engaging in petty crime and draining away their lives with cheap liquor and drugs.
Guaranteed employment on construction sites will free all from poverty, hopelessness and despair. The youth will have money in their pockets, which will enable them to lead wholesome lives as they graduate from changaa, kumi kumi and other illicit brews to the finest single-malt Scotch.
Sparked unrest
Misguided Gen Z youth who sparked unrest at the behest of the US, China, Russia, and other foreign entities working in concert with disaffected local oligarchy will no longer have anything to complain about.
Privileged kids who had nothing better to do than to relieve boredom by marching in the streets will be kept occupied with the rapid growth of KFC and other fast-food franchises in every street corner.
The geniuses who are going through the obligatory charade of Parliamentary vetting will in record time catapult Kenya from economic basket case to the world’s fastest growing economy.
We can expect nothing less from a Cabinet composed of certified brilliance, men and women who in a period of recession can still grow their wealth in measures that defy the logic of tanking property markets and securities exchange.
Note that they are doing so despite being barred by law from engaging in any other gainful employment, so it’s all about savvy investments, as well as magical appreciation of existing assets despite the overall depreciation all around.
I need a stiff one.
[email protected]; @MachariaGaitho
