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A mother’s pain: 'I lost six children and one is missing'

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64-year-old Mary Asami recounts how her youngest son and her last remaining child disappeared in Lake Nakuru while fishing in 2022. All of her other six children, as well as her husband, have passed away, leaving her alone in her rented home in Bondeni Estate in Nakuru City.
 

Photo credit: Boniface Mwangi | Nation

For years, the life of Mrs Mary Asami, 64, has been nothing short of a nightmare.

The mysterious disappearance of her son Brian Stingo, who went missing in July 2022 while on an illegal fishing expedition at Lake Nakuru, has deepened her pain and anguish.

Mrs Asami was blessed with 14 children, but in the past ten years, she has lost six of them.

“They all died of sickness and I was able to bury them. Stingo’s disappearance has only added to my pain,” she told Daily Nation in an interview.

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Mary Asami looks perturbed at her home in Bondeni, Nakuru, on April 21, 2026.  Her youngest son, Brian Stingo, mysteriously disappeared in Lake Nakuru while on a fishing trip in 2022. 

Photo credit: Boniface Mwangi | Nation

She says the disappearance of Stingo has been the most devastating ordeal, because the family does not know whether he is dead or alive.

“Each loss has been painful, but my son’s disappearance feels like a nightmare I cannot wake up from. Stingo was my second-last born son and my hope. But now I cannot find him—dead or alive. At least if I could find his body and bury him, my heart would find closure,” the tearful mother said.

About 20 years ago, she lost her husband, Michael Okeyo Asami, who was the family’s breadwinner. He fell ill and died, leaving her a widow with 14 children to raise.

“My husband died when most of my children were still very young. I was automatically turned into both a father and a mother. I have struggled to take care of them and even pay school fees,” she recalled.

Ms Asami says she has endured many sleepless nights since learning of her son’s disappearance.

“It has been nearly four years since my son went missing. We don’t know whether he is alive or dead. It is a heart-shattering ordeal and a life of agony,” she said.

When Daily Nation visited her home in Flamingo Estate, Nakuru City, she appeared visibly devastated and withdrawn, staring into space and lost in thought.

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Mary Asami looks perturbed at her home in Bondeni, Nakuru, on April 21, 2026. Her youngest son, Brian Stingo, mysteriously disappeared in Lake Nakuru while on a fishing trip in 2022. 

Photo credit: Boniface Mwangi | Nation

The pain of losing her husband and six children, and now the disappearance of her son, has left her distraught.

“The emptiness in my life is overwhelming. I have been trying to find my way through this fog of grief, but it is hard. Some days it feels impossible. I miss my children, I miss Stingo every second—their laughter, their fights, their hugs. I wish I could turn back time,” she said.

“My eyes have been full of tears since the day my son went missing. But I still hold faint hope that perhaps he will be found one day,” she added.

Her distress is compounded by what she describes as limited assistance from State agencies over the past four years.

Stingo would have turned 25 this year. His mother now says she just wants closure, whether he is found alive or dead.

“I request President William Ruto and investigative agencies to help me find my son, alive or dead. If I get his body, I will bury him and find peace. I have been living in agony for nearly four years,” she said.

However, amid the anguish, there is now a glimmer of hope.

On Monday, a Nakuru court ordered the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) to carry out fresh investigations into the disappearance of the fisherman, who went missing in July 2022.

Chief Magistrate Tito Gesora suspended a public inquest file that had been opened by the family, noting that key legal requirements had not been met.

“A public inquest can only proceed if the body has been found, a post-mortem conducted, and a report filed. This case is not properly before the court, and witnesses cannot continue to testify,” ruled Mr Gesora.

He added that the inquest could only proceed after seven years, when Stingo may be legally presumed dead.

The DCI now has 30 days to investigate the disappearance and submit a report to the court.

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Mary Asami, aged 64, displays a portrait of her youngest son, Brian Stingo, at her rented home in Bondeni Estate, Nakuru City. 

Photo credit: Boniface Mwangi | Nation

Stingo, 21, who worked as a butcher at Bethlehem Butchery in Nakuru City, went missing on July 24, 2022, after allegedly joining friends on an illegal fishing expedition at Lake Nakuru.

He was last seen at his home in Manyani Makuti estate before leaving with friends and never returning.

The matter was reported at Bondeni Police Station under OB-24/27/7/2022.

Before the court suspended the inquest, Mrs Asami told the court that her son was allegedly being pursued by Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) rangers when he went missing.

“A friend who was with Stingo told us that my son was chased by Lake Nakuru National Park rangers and escaped, but later we were told he had drowned,” she said.

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64-year-old Mary Asami recounts how her youngest son and her last remaining child disappeared in Lake Nakuru while fishing in 2022. All of her other six children, as well as her husband, have passed away, leaving her alone in her rented home in Bondeni Estate in Nakuru City.
 

Photo credit: Boniface Mwangi | Nation

She further told the court that the friend who was last seen with Stingo was arrested but later released after surrendering his clothes and mobile phone.

“We also sought help from KWS rangers, but they demanded fuel money. We later sought assistance from the Kenya Red Cross. We searched for over three months but did not find him,” she testified.

Although Stingo is believed to have drowned in Lake Nakuru, his body has never been recovered.

The matter was later revived after the Senate Committee on National Security visited Nakuru to investigate alleged forced disappearances and mysterious deaths linked to illegal fishing at the lake.

The court has set May 13 for mention of the case for further directions.

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