When Dennis Mbau, 34, got his firstborn three years ago, he was thrilled to be a new dad. Eager to do his best for his daughter but with little knowledge of parenting, he turned to technology as his guide.
At the time, he was pursuing his Master’s degree at the University of Nairobi, and he felt his tech skills could help him navigate fatherhood.
“As a new parent, I always try to understand the milestones of my children every month. I am the parent, but AI (Artificial Intelligence) to me is like a person who knows a lot. Instead of calling someone to ask, I prompt it with different scenarios, ‘What if this happens’, then I compare.”
Through AI, Mbau says he accesses information that helps him plan for his baby efficiently, instead of relying on trial and error.
“AI gives me a whole year’s worth of developmental milestones of my baby, like when the teeth were going to grow. It helped me know what kind of things to start doing, like talking to the child.”
Denis Mbau.
Photo credit: Pool
Last year, when his daughter reached playgroup age, he was anxious about letting her go for the first time. Once again, he consulted his “search engine,” AI.
“I asked AI, ‘what kind of questions should I ask the teachers?’ ‘How should I ensure that she is well taken care of?’ AI then gave me all the information I needed, and it helped us prepare for the big day.”
As he accompanied her to school in the morning, he felt confident, and it made things easier for his daughter too. Later, as he went to work, he was able to concentrate and focus on work because he felt he had covered all the bases with his daughter's first day at school.
When Mbau's second baby came along, he was well acquainted with AI. One time, the baby fell sick, and as they headed to the hospital, he checked in with AI to understand what was happening and what to expect at the doctor’s office.
“For example, when my baby had swelling, I tried Google, but it gave me so many different trends, which upset me. But with AI, I was able to give more details—like she had just had a vitamin A vaccination, no fever, then suddenly swelling. The response I got was more exact, and when I went to the hospital, it concurred with what AI had told me,” he explains.
Elsewhere in Nairobi, another parent, Terry Musyoki, also relies on AI in her parenting journey. A mother of three, she says AI helps her better understand her children.
“I am using AI because I have children of all ages. My son has a disability, and AI helps me learn how to communicate effectively with him. Ours is a blended family, and I get tips on how to integrate the children in a Godly way.”
Terry Simba Musyoki is a mother of three teenagers.
Photo credit: Pool
However, Terry is cautious with the information she gets from AI. She has raised children both before and after the AI boom and believes technology only enhances, not replaces, parenting.
“I have one son whom I raised without AI. He is 26 years old now, and it is not AI that helped me parent him into the young man he is today. So, to me, AI has just come to enhance my parenting because this generation we are in uses technology. But I don’t use it 100 per cent.”
Like Mbau, she prompts AI on specific parenting questions.
“How do I speak to a child who has a disability without offending them? If I want to talk to a child who has been diagnosed with a certain condition, how do I say it?”
She describes AI as a “place of research” that fills her gaps as a parent. She is already passing these skills to her children and other parents in an organisation where she volunteers.
“I have shown my children how to prompt AI when they are studying, but I still have to check their work. I have noticed that AI is not always accurate with information in the Bible.”
While these parents have found AI to be useful, some, like Alfred Kamula, have reservations. Alfred, a father of four, became concerned when his 19-year-old son admitted that AI was making his schoolwork easier by making him think less.
Alfred Nandwa Kamula, a father of three, during an interview on August 5, 2024, in Dagoretti, Nairobi.
Photo credit: File| Nation Media Group
“I think AI will make most children not reason and instead have a low thinking capacity and be too lazy because everything they want, they go to AI and get it there,” he says.
Although curious, Kamula has never used AI himself.
“There is no school for parenting, and every parent has their way of raising their children. As much as you may use AI for other things, sometimes you just need to use your wisdom, and I don’t think that wisdom is in AI.”
He mentioned areas where he struggles as a parent, and we prompted his questions to AI on WhatsApp. Within seconds, AI offered 10 parenting skills, starting with active listening.
Upon reading the feedback, Kamula got curious and asked more questions.
“AI, why is it difficult to correct Gen Z children?”
The AI response explained that factors such as digital nativity, entitlement, emotional sensitivity, independence, and constant feedback all play a role. It advised him to use positive language, empathy, clear communication, set boundaries, and encourage self-reflection.
After a few minutes exploring the tool, Kamula noted, “I see that AI has specific and somehow accurate answers.”
Assistant not replacement
Counselling psychologist Pauline Kariru says that being a mother of teenagers forced her to learn AI from her tech-savvy children. She finds much of the feedback, like that which AI gave to Kamula, psychologically sound.
“If I were concerned, I would ask for evidence behind this data. AI is a new phenomenon, and in psychology, we say answers have to be research-based,” she explains.
Joseph Otieno, director of Talanta Digital Solutions, says his company now trains parents monthly on AI use.
Joseph Otieno CEO of Talanta Computer College during an interview at his home in Lang'ata on December 22, 2023.
Photo credit: File| Nation Media Group
“AI can help parents as far as educational support is concerned, whereby parents guide their children on homework and make learning more personalised. AI can also help with time management, screen monitoring, and age-appropriate content,” he says.
“There still has to be a balance. AI can help in parenting, but it should not be entirely a replacement. It does not have human emotions. In some responses that are not culturally sensitive, AI cannot help you.”
He adds that parents should double-check the answers they receive and weigh the soundness of the feedback.
“Overreliance on AI is not good. Parenting cannot be outsourced. Emotional presence and human wisdom cannot be replaced because AI does not have that. It is also important to realise that some of the responses AI tools give are biased, meaning they are not always the right answer.”
