How can a young man tell the difference between a woman who has genuinely invested in her personal growth and one who only presents outward beauty but lacks substance? Nyamweya
Many men end up marrying the woman who has the strongest sexual appeal to them. Once he falls for her, he starts projecting all his hopes on her instead of doing it the other way around—studying whether she is worthy of trusting in the first place.
He assumes that she will also be sincere because he loves her sincerely. This is childlike and naive, of course, but it's the shortest way to avoid risking rejection and disappointment.
Men think mostly in straight lines and are deceived by plain things. Unlike women, who are complex and multilayered, men tend to think in black and white, especially when it comes to emotionally charged decisions like choosing a love partner.
A woman can plot a long, convoluted route and hide it perfectly. For example, she can pretend to be in love and entertain you so you can't detect it. Men can't do that. A man's feelings are always honest. If he tries acting contrary to his feelings, he does such a bad job that the woman picks it immediately.
As men, we are open books and very easy to deceive, especially when we fall in love. Intelligent men have been destroyed by uneducated girls half their age. Once he is caught in her charms, he becomes extremely weak and vulnerable. Samson of the old slew a thousand men, only to be slain by one unarmed woman. Delilah was not wife material, and Samson failed to detect it.
She sold him for money. Many women are like that. They're only trying to profit from you. But you're sincere and mistaken like Samson, so she makes you lose your sight, job, and life.
It is better to drop your illusion of being very powerful and follow the criteria below for choosing a wife from the materialistic and merciless Delilahs. She should be meek. This means being modest and down to earth. Of course, you must be lowly and humble to resonate with her spirit.
But you must not mistake a subdued woman for a humble one. Suppose she's defeated by circumstances, like coming from a poor home and lacking financial support, or being stranded with children alone. In that case, she will jump onto your bus primarily for the rescue.
She will buy time until her needs are less acute, and then she will become herself. She never loved you to begin with; it was necessity and your naivety that maintained the relationship. The point is that she must be meek by character, not circumstances.
Never date a woman in crisis or who seems unlucky in relationships. Remember Robert Greene's dictum to always avoid the unhappy and the unlucky or they will infect you with their misfortunes.
Secondly, she should be growth-conscious. Some women have decided never to apply themselves to hard work and self-improvement. Instead, they will leverage their beauty to get a good life from men. These are the Delilahs you must avoid. They bring nothing to your life except mischief to get your money.
You need a woman with a track record of investing in herself to become a better human being. You need this for a resourceful helper, not just a curvy body. Sober up, bro. You need to see a woman with a stack of notebooks or a notepad full of lessons she has gathered over the years, surrounded by sober teachers and mentors who have grown her.
But if all you can see is that she started sleeping with men at 18 and has been in and out of relationships all her life, what are you marrying there? Maturity is not automatic. It is built through learning. Of course you'll always marry your mirror.
If you value learning yourself, you'll only click with another informed and well-read person. Do not imagine you can live an undisciplined life, crawl into a church at the last minute, and get yourself a clean girl.
Connections are mental and emotional, not just physical. You'll most likely land on another pretender like yourself. You can't vibe with someone who has been in the school of life for 10 years when you've spent all that time indulging your desires.
A woman who is committed to growth will show curiosity, humility, and resilience. She desires to acquire knowledge, is humble enough to admit mistakes, and has the discipline to pursue improvement.
She won’t just talk about her dreams but also her actions, desire to read, and surrounding herself with people who sharpen her. Her beauty is physical and shows in her mindset, how she treats others, and the principles guiding her decisions.
On the other hand, when a woman is only focused on appearances, she often avoids hard questions, deflects responsibilities, and relies heavily on charm, looks, or materialism. She may talk much about being admired but little about being transformed.
