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What really drives divorce? Surprising patterns behind who stays and who splits

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Couples whose children were born in quick succession are also more likely to break up, though when a couple has more children, their risk of divorce eventually goes right down!

Men who were educated at single-sex schools are also more likely to divorce, but not women, which suggests that single-sex schools might have some bad effects on boys, probably in terms of their socialisation.

Your marriage is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, but couples who spend a lot on their wedding are more likely to split up, while those who keep the costs low are more likely to stay together.

Those who marry in their teens or early twenties have a greater chance of divorce, so marrying your childhood sweetheart is risky. The most stable relationships are between couples who marry in their late forties.

You’re also more likely to split up if you met online—in fact, you are three times more likely to do so than if you met in real life through your work or your interests. The reasons for this are not at all clear, but one possibility is that profiles containing false information damage trust at an early stage in the relationship.

Those who live together before marriage are less likely to divorce during their first year of marriage, but their risk of divorce is much higher in subsequent years. It’s not clear why, but one possibility is that cohabiting lowers the perceived value of marriage. Another possibility is that it’s harder to break up while living together, so couples drift into marriage, hoping that will fix things!

Good listener

The traditional style of marriage, where the husband is the only breadwinner and the wife stays at home and takes responsibility for all of the housework, has the same probability of divorce as a marriage where she works outside the home but he does his fair share of the chores and is fully involved with childcare. But if she works and he neither helps with the housework nor with the children, then their risk of divorce doubles!

And perhaps not so surprisingly, men who work mostly with women are more likely to get divorced than men who work mostly with other men. But the reverse is not true for women!

But at the end of the day, these are all just statistics. So what should you do to avoid becoming one of them? Be a good listener, be kind to one another, touch lots, and say ‘I love you’ every single day.

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