A woman has confessed that she loves me, but I’m unsure about her exact age, though she seems older than me.
I am a 22-year-old college student, and I find myself in a complicated situation. A woman has confessed that she loves me, but I’m unsure about her exact age, though she seems older than me. She has a boyfriend and works, while I am still in school. I feel confused because I don’t have much to offer—no money or significant resources—yet she claims she wants to leave her boyfriend for me. She told me she’s considering giving me a chance, but with my studies resuming this January, it seems difficult for her to manage things until we can meet again.
What should I do?
Lincoln
READER’S ADVICE
You need to be very careful with the decisions you are making and what you are doing with your life. What you are doing today will automatically affect your future. Life is not a rehearsal! Don't gamble with your life. There is time for everything and I can say we live in phases. I advise you to focus on your studies now. If she is ditching her boyfriend for you, there are high chances that she will dump you for another person because what goes around comes around.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko, Senior Pastor, Mitume P.A.G Church, Kitale
All this confusion that is cropping up is very unnecessary for a 22-year-old. The woman who claims to be in love with you is older than you, had a job and has a man meaning she already has her life in place unlike you. So focus on your studies for now. You have a right as a young man to say NO to this kind of inconveniences and prioritise bettering yourself. When the right time comes, you will have all the time to look for a woman of your choice.
Juma Felix
Lincoln, at 22 you are still young. There is no harm in a woman confessing her love for you. I however feel that at your age you should focus on building your life. Between 18 and 25 is where you lay your career and financial foundation. Concentrate on your studies and give them your best. Get good grades and secure a job, or venture in to the business world. After this is accomplished, you can build a family.
Calvin Queens, Blogger and Writer
EXPERT’S TAKE
Sometimes the heart wants what it wants. As humans we do not always get to control our feelings towards someone. That said, your first priority before women is school. You can multitask your affections and studies as long as love does not distort your focus on school. The question you need to ask yourself is whether you like her enough to want to be in a relationship with her. Moving forward I would like you to see yourself as a worthy being whether you have money or not. Never let anyone make you feel that money is the only thing that gives you value. It is clear from your story that she wants you as you are. However, will she be a good influence on you? Her leaving her boyfriend for you is her choice. What you do not need is an overly demanding girlfriend who stresses you at every turn. Is she good for you? Will she motivate you to reach your potential? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.
Maurice Matheka, Relationship Counsellor
NEXT WEEK’S DILEMMA
I have a male cousin who is 50 years old, a civil servant, legally divorced with three kids – two in college and one in upper primary. He is a strong Christian and wants to bid farewell to loneliness. Can anyone connect him with a partner, a Godly wife with similar attributes, possibly with one child?
He has been a single father for nearly 10 years and has been trying to date for an eternity, but meeting the right match has been a challenge. He desires an equally mature, strong Christian lady with solid values and morals, preferably a graduate and above, who is stable in employment or has prospects. Ideally, she would be based in Nairobi. A lady without children would have an added advantage.
Perhaps your media house could reinstate the soulmates column or at least privately connect people. He doesn't mind if you connect him with someone. Contact me for more information.
Ombongi
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