Most divorces today are framed under the formal ground of 'irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
Divorce in Kenya is increasingly being driven by women. The way in which divorce is argued in court is one of the factors contributing to this shift.
Although the law still recognises fault-based grounds such as adultery, cruelty and desertion, lawyers say that most cases today are framed under a broader and more flexible standard: the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
According to lawyers at Muri Mwaniki Thige & Kageni LLP, this has allowed courts to consider a wider range of realities drawn from modern relationships.
"Most divorces today are framed under the formal ground of 'irretrievable breakdown of the marriage'. There has been a noticeable shift in societal attitudes towards unhappy marriages, particularly among women. This shift is accompanied by increased financial independence, which has made it easier for couples to leave unsustainable unions. There is also growing recognition of mental and emotional well-being, with emotional neglect now being treated as a serious issue rather than a secondary concern,” says Lundi.
For Clarise Osore, founder of Mmbone Osore Advocates, this evolution is most evident when comparing younger and older clients.
"When I was younger, I found myself with clients within my age bracket. They divorced because of infidelity. Sometimes abuse. Currently, I realise my clients are a mix of my peers and those slightly younger. Infidelity is not necessarily a major cause of divorce unless it involves violence. Lack of finances or misuse of finances is. I think this is because, as you get older, you react from a logical rather than an emotional standpoint. So, if infidelity becomes so significant that family resources are mismanaged in favour of the other woman, then it becomes grounds for divorce.”
Her observations suggest a change in how conflict is perceived. While infidelity may still be present, it is often the financial consequences, such as misused resources, hidden spending or economic instability, which transform it into a legally actionable breakdown.
Lawyers say that financial strain has become one of the most consistent themes in modern divorces. Whether framed as neglect, imbalance or outright betrayal, money increasingly becomes the focal point of tension.
At the same time, poor communication remains an underlying factor in many cases.
Contentious battles over alimony and property are often fueled by unhealed emotional wounds and personality clashes rather than legal necessity.
"Poor communication often escalates into persistent conflict, while infidelity and lack of financial transparency frequently deepen mistrust between spouses. Domestic violence or controlling behaviour is also common, as is interference from extended family,” notes Lundi.
"In many cases, one partner may feel persistently disrespected or unheard over time, and financial imbalance can result in one party shouldering the burden while the other withdraws. Conflict is often avoided rather than addressed, allowing issues to accumulate until they become unmanageable."
Despite these recurring elements, lawyers are careful not to overgeneralise.
"Maturity resulting from age, whether the parties were previously married to other partners (a second divorce is not as difficult to navigate), whether the parties embraced therapy before initiating the process, whether there are children or matrimonial properties to fight over… Most importantly, whether a partner is kind. It goes a long way. So no, there are no patterns. Every case is different," says Clarise.
Nevertheless, certain structural realities influence how divorce unfolds. Younger, urban and financially stable couples are more likely to formalise separation through the courts, often within the first five years of marriage.
"They often cite incompatibility, unrealistic expectations, a breakdown in communication, financial instability and infidelity as reasons for the breakdown of the marriage."
For couples who stay together for longer, the breakdown tends to be slower and more complex, shaped by accumulated investment and often regret.
"Parties that have been married for a long time have invested more. They have more assets and children, and there is also the aspect of lost time. There is a lot of regret, too,” says Clarise.
"Older couples who get divorced knew in their younger years that the marriage wouldn’t work, but they kept hoping."
“I have also noted that women are quick to leave at the slightest hint of oppression, which is interesting given the way we are led to believe that it is women who want marriage and a family.”
The lawyers have observed that women are increasingly initiating divorce proceedings.
"In my experience, more women tend to initiate divorce proceedings, typically citing cruelty (including emotional and psychological), neglect, chronic infidelity and domestic violence," notes Lundi.
Clarise concurs: “Today’s woman is not the traditional wife. She earns as much as her partner and is just as educated. She expects partnership. Today’s man has yet to catch up.”
Her reflection captures a changing reality: marriage is still valued, but not at any cost.
"Marriages are good, but that doesn't mean we should be miserable. The point of sharing your life with someone is not to be miserable.”
At FM Muteti & Co., managing partner Festus Muteti describes marital breakdown as a layered process that often unfolds over years before reaching the courts.
"In practice, this breakdown is rarely caused by a single event. It is usually the result of several issues building up over time. Chief among these are infidelity and cruelty. Cruelty can manifest in various ways, including physical abuse, which can escalate to criminal assault, as well as emotional and psychological harm, verbal abuse, and, increasingly, financial abuse, where one partner exerts control or causes deprivation of resources for the other.”
While the core drivers of divorce remain largely unchanged, Muteti points to a noticeable shift in how frequently couples are choosing to act on them.
"More couples appear willing to formally end marriages that are no longer working, rather than remaining in prolonged dissatisfaction. Unfortunately, this does not indicate a positive trend in marital stability. In fact, the number of disputes suggests that marital strain is becoming more pronounced."
Muteti also points to a subtle but significant shift in how couples approach financial disentanglement after marriage.
"With increasing financial independence among spouses, particularly in dual-income households, parties are often less inclined to pursue ongoing financial dependency post-divorce."
He adds that children also influence decision-making, often delaying separation.
"Couples without children tend to separate more readily, whereas those with children often remain together for longer, sometimes enduring significant strain in an effort to preserve stability for their offspring."
Read: I divorced, reconciled and in love again: What does the law say about remarrying my ex-husband?
Beyond these structural factors, newer pressures, especially those linked to technology and social media, are increasingly shaping marital conflict.
"These platforms have exacerbated issues surrounding infidelity, such as emotional affairs conducted online, privacy and trust. There is also a growing emphasis on individual autonomy and personal fulfilment. Many people today are less willing to stay in marriages that do not fulfil their emotional or psychological needs, even if their partner has not done anything wrong.”
At their firm, Muteti has also observed an increase in the number of women filing for divorce.
"Women tend to initiate divorce proceedings more frequently.
The reasons cited often centre around various forms of cruelty, including emotional neglect, verbal abuse, physical violence, financial control and infidelity.”
He believes this pattern is closely tied to broader social and economic changes.
"With increased financial independence and social support structures, more women can leave marriages that are unsatisfactory or harmful. In the past, such decisions may have been constrained by economic dependency or societal expectations."
As these expectations evolve, so does the meaning of marriage itself.
"There is a growing emphasis on personal fulfilment, equality and emotional well-being within relationships. Many individuals today are less inclined to remain in marriages that do not meet these expectations. Divorce is increasingly seen not as a social or moral failure, but as a legitimate and sometimes necessary resolution to an untenable situation," notes Muteti.
