It is a question that many men may worry about but rarely ask openly, particularly when expectations about sexual performance are shaped by pornography, conversations with friends or claims about how long men are “supposed” to last.
But according to Dr Winstar Mokua Ombuki, a consultant urologist at The Aga Khan Hospital, there is no stipulated duration a man should last during sex.
“What matters is that both partners feel comfortable, communicate openly and find the experience satisfying,” Dr Mokua says.
A widely cited study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that the median time from vaginal penetration to ejaculation was about five minutes. The figure excludes foreplay. Dr Mokua notes this figure should be treated as a reference, not a target.
“Lasting less than four minutes alone does not mean a man has premature ejaculation,” he says.
Premature ejaculation is more than simply ejaculating sooner than a man would have preferred on one occasion.
Dr Mokua says doctors consider how soon ejaculation occurs, how frequently it happens, whether the man can delay it and whether the situation causes distress.
“Premature ejaculation involves a repeated pattern of ejaculating very quickly, with little control and associated distress,” he says.
He distinguishes between lifelong premature ejaculation, which begins from a man’s earliest sexual experiences, and acquired premature ejaculation, which develops after a period when the man previously had normal control.
In lifelong cases, ejaculation typically occurs before or within about one minute of vaginal penetration, while acquired premature ejaculation may involve a marked reduction in duration, often to three minutes or less.
Both, however, involve difficulty delaying ejaculation and distress about the problem.
“Simply wishing to last longer does not establish a diagnosis,” Dr Mokua says.
Dr Mokua cites a 2017 study involving 3,000 young men in Kisumu and surrounding areas in which roughly half reported ejaculating too quickly.
“This suggests that concerns about ejaculation are common, although it does not mean that half of Kenyan men have clinically diagnosed premature ejaculation,” he says.
Globally, estimates suggest premature ejaculation affects about 20 to 30 per cent of men, according to Dr Mokua, although fewer than one in four affected men seek medical help.
He says men may also be reluctant to seek help because they view sexual performance as a measure of masculinity.
“One common misconception is that a man must last 20 or 30 minutes to satisfy his partner or prove he is ‘man enough’,” he says.
Comparing sexual performance with pornography or stories from friends can also create unrealistic expectations, he adds.
Dr Mokua says erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation can influence each other. A man who fears losing his erection may rush intercourse and ejaculate sooner than he wants.
At the same time, worrying about ejaculating too quickly can make it harder to maintain an erection.
