Linus and his wife, Joyce came to consult following a serious disagreement. Trouble started when Linus refused to have sex with his wife.
“He says he learnt from social media that ejaculating more than three times a week is dangerous to a man’s life,” Joyce explained. According to Joyce, Linus was refusing to have sex because he was in an extramarital affair, and was using unscientific information to justify his misbehaviour.
The couple had been married for nine years and had two children. Hitherto, they had had a relatively happy marital and sex life. I interrogated Linus to understand what the issue was. He had been following a supposed sexuality educator with a big following on TikTok. “The educator says that if you ejaculate many times you lose nutrients and this can lead to prostate problems and erection failure.”
“Dear, for nine years we have been at it and we never got medical problems,” Joyce answered emotionally. “What has suddenly happened that limits you to three cycles of sex a week?”
We checked the alleged professional educator’s background. There was scanty information online. His name was not listed anywhere as a qualified health professional. He had been involved in controversial political arguments before.
“Looks to me like someone who enjoys publicity,” I said. “He is looking for any topic that keeps him in the limelight. Frequent sex has no untoward effect, only pleasure and fun for a couple.”
Always remember that there is a lot of unfiltered medical information online. Further, people know that sexual health information is hushed and hard to come by so that anything thrown out there easily attracts audiences. As such, there is a crop of social media influencers who have now become sexuality educators.
Many have not undergone any training. The unsuspecting public easily consumes what these influencers advise and try to apply it on their lives, sometimes with serious consequences.
The sexual misinformation comes at a time when the social fabric that supported sexuality education has collapsed. People are becoming globalised and urbanised. There is high internet penetration and people now get sexual information from anywhere any time.
To some extent, the democratisation of sexual information through social media has reduced stigma and people now speak a lot of what they are experiencing, many times with strangers and without fear. The only challenge is that wrong advice could be worse than no advice.
“True, very true as you have seen in our family,” Joyce retorted, gazing into the horizon.
To be safe, always look at the profile of the person providing you with sexual information. If they are not qualified professionals in Sexual Medicine, sexology or other related professions, do a thorough research on the advice they are giving before applying it to your situation.
Always be conscious of the temptation to only discuss any new sexual information with peers. Currently, it is estimated that 60 per cent of people get medical information from social media. Out of these, a number discuss the new information with their peers. Of these, 70 per cent resort to discussing sexual issues with peers and believe on the advice their peers give.
This is double tragedy. For a start, the information originated from an unqualified sexuality educator. The information, which is likely to lack scientific basis, is then discussed with friends who equally know nothing. At the end, one may be convicted to resort to unscientific and sometimes dangerous practices.
Occasionally, sexual advice is an expression of one’s religious or cultural sexual beliefs. People of similar faith and culture will applaud the information if it goes on social media. There is no problem with this self-expression. Some of the information may however conflict with scientific information. This can be confusing, especially if one has also had medical advice on these issues.
“I hear you doctor and we will revert to our usual active sexual life,” Linus said, pulling Joyce along for a hug. “And I am sorry that I did not scrutinise the sexual information before consuming it.”
