When you and your spouse were dating, you actively pursued one another.
This bond is maintained by spending time together. And that doesn’t mean just being in the same room, you need to constantly learn more about each other, share activities you both enjoy, and make new memories together.
Is your marriage happy? Many are not. So what makes a good marriage? It’s always the emotional connection between the couple. Because it’s that psychological bond that makes it possible for you to feel secure in your relationship, and to know that you’ll always be there for each other. Constantly providing support, companionship and lasting affection.
You built that emotional link by spending time together while you were dating. And you’ll only maintain it if you spend time together now. And that doesn’t mean just being in the same room! You need to be constantly learning more about each other, sharing activities you both enjoy, and making new memories together.
When you and your spouse were dating, you actively pursued one another. You surprised each other with little gifts. Sent texts at all hours. Planned dates, special dinners and weekend trips. You did all these things to get to know each other and enjoy each other’s company. So don’t stop now because your wedding must not be the end of your connection building.
It marked the start of the next phase of your relationship, of course, but you still need to continue doing the things that brought you together in the first place. Because the girlfriend who loved getting flowers is still the same person.
She didn’t stop loving flowers when she became your wife. The boyfriend who loved the way you admired him is still the same guy. He didn’t change when he became your husband. So just because you’ve got married doesn’t mean you are allowed to reduce the attention you give to each other.
While you were dating, your relationship was your highest priority. But you’re busier now, and get pulled in lots of different directions. That’s an inevitable part of life, but if you continually make your career or your friends a priority over your marriage, you’ll gradually lose the connection that first brought you two together.
So routinely set aside time to spend with each other, put everything else on hold, give one another your undivided attention, and make sure you always feel that you’re each other’s highest priority.
You’ll also only maintain your emotional connection if you continue to understand one another. What makes you smile? What makes you feel loved? What makes you feel secure? Learn how best to communicate, learn each other’s nonverbal signals, and learn to recognise when your partner is trying to make a bid for connection.
Be available to each other. You both need one another’s support, understanding and compassion. You both need to know that you can trust each other with your feelings.
And that is what you share with one another will not be met with criticism or judgment, because your emotional bond is the key to the two of you having the best marriage possible.
A few couples do move along without one, but if you want to be truly happy together, then creating a strong emotional connection is a must.
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