Every romance starts cautiously, amid expectations that your initial attraction might not last. But if instead things go well and trust develops, you soon begin to wonder whether you can start to plan a future together.
That usually happens after about three months, and in practice it means you want to know whether you will both be faithful to one another.
That’s harder to achieve these days, because in our digital world, we have more dating options than ever before. So people can be reluctant to get serious.
But it’s definitely time to think about becoming exclusive if you’ve already started referring to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, both to one another and to your mates.
It’s time if you don’t feel like responding to that flirtatious look from along the bar any more. And can’t be bothered to look at your dating apps. It’s not that there aren’t attractive people out there; it’s just that you’re not interested in starting something new.
You’re taking better care of your clothes and hair because you want your partner to really enjoy looking at you. You’re genuinely excited to see each other, and your face is giving you away. Instead of the polite face everyone else gets, you give each other full-on smiles.
Singles pack their weekends with activities, but you don’t any more. Because now all you want is to be with each other.
You make all your plans together, and there are two toothbrushes in your bathroom. Hook-ups can leave dental hygiene until the morning. But two toothbrushes mean you’re an item!
You’re careful not to let each other down. You’re never late, and put extra effort into communicating really well.
You’re way past ‘playing it cool,’ and all those old fashioned dating rules.
Your conversations have moved on from the movies you’ve seen, current affairs and sport, and are getting deeper. Now you’re discussing the emotional stuff such as your history, families, hopes and dreams.
To begin with, you spent all your time trying to be perfect. And worried that these nice feelings couldn’t be real. You waited for the lies, expecting that you’d go off each other. But it didn’t happen.
You had your first disagreement and sorted it all out. If there was nothing between you, you’d have given up and gone straight back out there.
But if you’re still feeling good about each other after your first fight, then it’s time to start thinking long term.
And somehow you feel completely OK about the idea of ‘having the talk.’ The thought of a serious discussion about ‘where is this relationship going’ isn’t scary at all.
In fact, you’re looking forward to it, and sense that you both are.
You squeeze each other’s hands a little harder, look at one another a certain way, and you’re feeling happy about it.
