Even in today’s materialistic world, it is only our relationships that really matter in life. And yet most of us find our husbands and wives almost by chance. You wouldn’t go looking for a new car that way, would you? So why not be more strategic about finding your partner, and then making sure you always remain happy together?
Because the strategy that leads to a happy marriage is actually quite straightforward. People do fall in love at first sight, of course, and still lead good lives. But you’re more likely to succeed if you follow a reliable blueprint.
And the first part of that is not getting married too soon! Instead, you should first meet lots of people and learn how to be a good partner. You also shouldn’t marry until you’ve become a truly independent adult and have developed a fully mature relationship with your parents. Because for your marriage to succeed, you must place each other above everyone else, including the rest of your family.
The next critical step is to get to really know yourself. Most people never do! They just accept whatever happens to them and never ask the reasons why. Instead, try to understand why you behave the way you do, especially when you’re stressed. Think about your principles, beliefs, preferences and interests. What makes you angry? Happy or sad. Think too about your expectations in marriage, and what motivates you generally.
Knowing yourself makes you able to look for someone whose values are similar to yours, because men and women whose background, attitudes, principles and beliefs are a good match are much more likely to be a successful couple. And what about your strategy once you’ve found the love of your life? Well, above all, be open and honest with one another, and totally committed to your relationship. It’s a big mistake to imagine that there might be someone better out there.
And it may sound politically incorrect in today’s world, but the scriptures got it exactly right. A wife should give herself completely to her husband. He should be the most important person in her life, more important even than her children. And a man should love his wife even more than he loves himself. Putting her way above his work and social life.
Both sharing a deep conviction that through thick and thin they’ll always be together. Single people can be utterly selfish, but successful couples need to see themselves in terms of their relationship, with shared ambitions and dreams. With each of their self-images totally embracing the other.
They should also protect their intimate lives from their work, their social lives and their children, because lots of good sex is the best glue there is for holding a marriage together. So never neglect your partner’s physical needs through all of life’s disappointments and frustrations.
Maybe you’ll never be a billionaire. But be strategic about your marriage, and you’ll always be happy.
