Breaking News: KPA boss William Ruto injured, daughter dies in road crash
The driver of the saloon car stormed into my office, shouting vehemently.
“It's an emergency! I don't know what to do. Please help!' He said, pacing back and forth.
“What is it?” I shouted back, picking up the phone to tell the nurse to mobilise the resuscitation team.
"I rescued him from a mob. He's currently in my car with his wife, and he can't get out."
While I was talking to the nurse about getting the resuscitation tray, the man interrupted me and shouted for me to stop.
"It's not about that,'" he said. "Come out and see for yourself. Leave the nurse out of this."
So I literally ran after him out of the clinic door and into the car park.
In the car was a scared-looking man with bruises on his face and muddy stuff on his chest and stomach. Looking further, I realised he was completely naked. I could not fathom what was happening; I thought it might be psychosis in its extreme form, causing the man to remove his clothes and act erratically in public. There was a fully dressed and equally distressed woman sitting beside him.
"I don't know his name. You can ask his wife sitting next to him," the driver explained. "I am just a good Samaritan. Now that he has reached you, please get him out of my car so that I can leave.
"Strange, so very strange!" I thought to myself, as I got some hospital linen for the naked man to wrap himself in. He walked with ease to the consultation room, followed by the woman. The driver quickly reversed and took off.
"This is my husband, John," the woman explained. "He has just been rescued from an angry mob that wanted to burn him alive."
The story was that John, a pastor, had been found in a hotel room with a woman. Suddenly, a mob arrived at the hotel and broke into the room. The woman escaped through the window into the thicket behind the hotel. John was naked and was flogged and pushed out of the hotel. The mob was baying for his blood.
They accused him of sleeping with a married woman who was a member of his church. The angry mob was rolling a tyre, which they intended to use to burn him alive.
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But John was lucky. The mob was blocking the road, and as a car slowly made its way through the crowd, he opened the car door, jumped in, and locked it. The mob started banging on the car, causing the driver to speed off in a panic with his strange, naked passenger. John pleaded with the driver to save his life and take him home.
John’s wife, Jane, had already been informed by a friend that her husband was in danger. She was walking out of the house to go to the hotel when the car carrying her naked husband arrived at her doorstep. She jumped into the car and ordered the driver to proceed to the sexology clinic. And so here they were!
"He is my husband, but I think he is very sick!" Once they were settled in the consultation room, Jane exclaimed, “He has betrayed the trust of the congregation. I am ashamed of him. It is not the first time this has happened.”
She described two other incidents when John had been accused of having sex with other women in the congregation.
A full clinical assessment of John showed no abnormality. In some cases of hypersexuality, there may be excess testosterone, the male sex hormone. Hypersexuality is synonymous with sex addiction, so I just needed to be sure that John was not suffering from it. His testosterone levels were normal. The only abnormality I could identify after further interrogation was that the couple had uneven sex drives.
In situations where sex partners have different levels of sex drive, one partner may crave sex more than the other, resulting in an uneven sex drive. It is often caused by discontent in the relationship, poor intimacy and power struggles.
Once it sets in, it becomes the fuel that drives the couple's relationship problems. It leads to suspicion and the build-up of anger, as one partner demands sex more and more, while the other refuses. John and Jane had been going through this, with John having a greater sex drive. After some time of having his demands turned down, he stopped asking his wife for sex and started having affairs with married women he was counselling, which led to the current crisis.
Uneven desire is treated by addressing the underlying causes.
In this couple's case, the problem was failing intimacy. They no longer paid attention to each other's needs, instead becoming absorbed in their careers, supposedly in an attempt to help other couples. Jane was a counsellor and always arrived home emotionally drained. John provided emotional support to a number of his congregants. John and Jane were emotionally distant even when physically close. Sex was impossible under these circumstances, which led John to seek satisfaction from his congregants.
After months of couple’s therapy, John and Jane regained their intimacy, and sex became normal again. John repented to his congregation and was reinstated as a pastor. This was yet another reminder that a functional sex life in marriage is key to all aspects of life, including professional success.
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