Dilemma: My husband stopped wearing his wedding ring
Married couples should be committed to each other regardless of rings or titles.
What you need to know:
- Find time and have a candid conversation with your husband.
- Your husband should be committed to you and not the ring.
My husband took off his wedding ring after we had a small misunderstanding three months ago. I know it sounds petty, but this issue is disturbing me. He is not a cheater, but I just want him to put his ring back. How do I say this without sounding childish? Does removing the ring mean he is no longer committed to the marriage?
A small misunderstanding, and he takes off the ring? I doubt that. Where there's fire, there's smoke. It speaks volumes indeed, and don't take it for granted. It might seem small to you; however, to him, it's venomous. Love is easily lost, through infidelity, but more often it fades away quietly through a host of small everyday mistakes that chip in a marriage.
There must be much more to it than just a small misunderstanding. Get to the bottom of it. Find an appropriate time and have a candid conversation with your husband. Hear him out and avoid defensiveness. Acknowledge your shortcomings, apologise, change and going forward, avoid any other "small misunderstandings".
D Mutunga, from the school of life
A relationship, including marriage has its highs and lows which cannot be avoided. What matters is knowing how to navigate them. In your case, how and when to initiate the conversation can salvage the situation. Communication is key to every successful relationship or marriage. Do not fear to talk, but fear to lose your man by not talking.
Rev Geoffrey Avudiko - Senior Pastor in Mitume P.A.G Church, Kitale.
FROM THE EXPERT
From your story, I don't have enough information to understand the context of your disagreements, but I can speculate that because the ring symbolises your union, it is appropriate for your husband to remove it, as it may have lost value due to your misunderstanding. Was he justified in doing so? Well, that debate can be lengthy and unnecessary. What is important is to understand his reason for his action.
Based on the little context, he may have felt that your insecurity questioned his loyalty, hence the removal of the ring. Again, I can only speculate. Your husband should be committed to you and not the ring. All things constant, you should be committed to each other regardless of rings or titles.
I suggest you sit him down and reconnect as a woman to a man, without finger-pointing, but with the sole intention of re-establishing harmony between you.
Maurice Matheka is a relationship expert
NEXT WEEK'S DILEMMA
Growing up, we were close to my mum's side of the family. They were fun to be around, and we loved visiting my maternal grandparents. As for my dad's side, we were friendly. Now, as a married woman, I find myself taking the kids to my side of the family because it is nearer to our home and has more social gatherings. My husband's side is okay, but we aren't very close. Should I start hosting gatherings for my husband's family so the kids can get to know and bond with their cousins from dad's side? Is history repeating itself?
